And then there were two!!

We had another one!

Jacob Douglas McDonald was born on Sunday, January 25, 2015 at 6:58 A.M weighing 7 pounds 1 ounce and measuring 20 Inches.

 

(Now he is 5 Months and just a happy little baby!)

I kept thinking lately how I have to write down somewhere my feelings of this little guy, since he is growing so much, and is constantly changing! He is my sweet little man. And he is just so beautiful, and might I add, chunky! He stares at you, as if he is staring into your soul! He is a soul searcher. He is always looking for me, and always smiling at me. I just love, love love it!!

 His birth story was much different than Jaxon's, and it was a HUGE blessing.

Pregnancy:

Okay, so yes, Jacob was quite the surprise pregnancy. Jaxon was only 8 months old when I found out I was pregnant again. I was nauseous for 2 days in a row when I was hungry. I had gone back to work part-time, and while I was at work, I asked myself why the heck I was feeling so nauseous, and then it hit me, hard... Oh crap... no, NO, I'm not pregnant....?! So with the question in mind, as soon as I got off work, I went to get Jaxon at his babysitter's house. I told her I think I might be pregnant again, and I needed to go get a pregnancy test. She was so excited for me, and said she had one I could use. So I took it home with me, only to find out it was not a pregnancy test, but it was an ovulation test. Well, I was eager to figure this out, so back in the car we went rushing to Walmart to pick up a test. I come back home, pee on the stick, and for a moment, I felt relief, only seeing one line boldly show up. Thinking, "See, you were worried over nothing..." Then, it appeared, a faint, but distinct second line. I just stared at it, in disbelief. I then started to laugh, and then started to laugh a little more in disbelief...

At this point, John wasn't home from work yet. I'm not good at keeping this kind of secret from my husband. However, I wanted to tell him in some clever and cute way that I was pregnant, since, with Jaxon, I didn't. So I called my sister, she was surprised and thrilled, and I called my friend, Celsea, and she was shocked and laughing with excitement. And we came up with writing on a onsie, and waiting for John to read it, and figure it out.

I had to act quickly, because John was coming home any minute, so I found a plain hand-me-down onsie and viola! I showed the onsie to our summer renter, Emily. She smiled and said, "cute." A few minutes later I showed it to her husband, Eric. He caught on and asked if I was pregnant. Emily thought I was implying on the onsie that he went #2 and needed a diaper change! Lol... so John could take this message another way than planned. I paced the floor wondering what he would think about having a second kid so soon....

Well, he didn't catch on to the onsie... I grew impatient. And asked him to read the onsie. Then I had to practically spell it out to him. He just stared at me. And then said, "Hahaha, you are funny." Then, "No, you are joking with me." Then I showed him the pee stick, and then he said, "Nope... you had someone pee on it for you." This went on for a while. He wouldn't believe me. Celsea called me to see how the surprise went, so as I was talking to her on the phone telling her that John didn't believe me, I noticed John left! He left! He took the car and left! What the heck John?! So after about a half hour, I called him. He took a stroll down to our friend, Robs, to talk to him about the shocking news. I was kind of mad at him at this point, for being in so much shock, and lack of excitement, but at the same time, I was more surprised than excited at this, myself.

Don't get me wrong, I was happy to be pregnant with a sibling for Jaxon, and Jaxon would  not be the only child. I was also happy that we were growing our family. I had avoided birth control since it took so long to get pregnant with Jaxon, that I didn't want to mess with my chances of getting pregnant again for another 3-4 years. But the timing was sooner than I was anticipating to be sure. I was barely adjusting to parenthood with Jaxon at this point, and then, Surprise!! Now I'm going to have to adjust to 2?? I needed some time to process that, and apparently, John did too.

The pregnancy was overall pretty smooth. Yes, there was definitely nausea, and even vomiting this time around. It lasted the full first trimester, and midway through 2nd trimester too. I was exhausted. I took naps as often as Jaxon would let me. I went to bed when he went to bed. I tried to hide the fact that I was pregnant at work, and not say a word because, I didn't know what this would mean, as far as keeping my job goes, when baby #2 came. Working part-time, the cost of child care for 2 kids, wouldn't make it worth my while, financially. I would have to bump up to full time, and that would be just to cover the additional child care cost... it wasn't worth it, to me, to spend even less time with my kids, for practically the same amount of pay. So I kind of knew, that when #2 came, my sweet job would have to come to an end.

The pregnancy was extremely stressful going into my third trimester. We had made the decision to move from Juneau to Kenai. It was a very last minute decision, that overwhelmed me emotionally. I was so worried about selling the house, getting a new house, things were tight financially, I felt awful about giving a 60 day termination of tenancy to our long term renter in the apartment to get the house in the shape it needs to sell, and that decision led to a lot of contention and anger between her and us. I was stressed about training my replacement at work in time. I was basically in high stress mode.... all the time. I don't think the pregnancy hormones helped at all, in fact, it made it much much worse. I had made really good friends in Juneau that I loved, I felt happy and at home. But the opportunity presented itself to move, and John didn't think there would be another opportunity to move in the future with his job, so he felt an urgency to make it happen now. I resented him a bit for a while, because he wanted out of Juneau so bad. On the other hand, I knew we wouldn't live there forever, and eventually we always wanted to raise our family on the peninsula, it was just happening sooner than I wanted. The move process is a long drawn out story full of ups and downs and bumps along the way. But the end result is, we moved to Kenai in December of 2014.

 I didn't gain any weight during this pregnancy. I wasn't too concerned about that though, because I was on the heavier side to begin with. I had gestational diabetes this round too. But this time around, I didn't have the time or mental will power to check my numbers every two hours, see a diabetic consultant, etc. I knew what I needed to eat and not eat, and so I just went with that. When I occasionally checked my numbers they were right on target for where they needed to be, so I didn't worry. I had too many other things on my plate I was worrying about to have that be another stress factor, and stress doesn't help your numbers!!

Labor:

(Our 1st Family Photo minutes after Jacob was born.)

Can I just say, Hallelujah?!! This experience was completely different from Jaxon's birth story. It was awesome!

January 25th (Exactly 39 weeks pregnant)

4:30am: I woke up feeling pressure and the feeling that I needed to pee, As I was getting out of bed I felt this gush of water running down my leg. I kept trying to stop it, and as I was having no success in accomplishing that I was muttering, "Uhhh, ohh dear, Ohhhh!" John woke up asking what was wrong, and I said, "Either I just peed a lot, or my water just broke!" Well that made him spring out of bed. I wobbled my way to the bathroom, sat on the toilet while the water trickled out, It was clear, and for some reason, that threw me off, because I didn't know if my water breaking should have some sort of color to it, mucous, or what? I also expected there to be more water than that, so I was second guessing whether or not I really did just have my water break or some really bad bladder control issue. So we talked about it for a while trying to decide what to do. I didn't have immediate contractions, and I was told that some women don't go into labor all that quickly after their water breaks, so I didn't feel an urgency to get anywhere.

5:00am: We called the OB Nurses station at the hospital to tell them what I had experienced, and they told me it sounds as if though my water broke and to come in just to check things out. No contractions, so not to rush, but to get here within an hour. After hanging up, we were wondering around the house thinking about what to pack, if we should get Jaxon somewhere. (We didn't know anyone well enough to be comfortable with calling someone at 5 in the morning to watch our 16 1/2 month old.) John ended up calling his parents to ask them to drive to Kenai and get Jaxon. They were more than willing to do so and they were getting ready to leave from Anchorage. (3 hour drive).

As we started packing and waking up Jaxon, the contractions started. They were mild for a few, but then they began to get harder and harder, and about 5 minutes apart. I kept saying, "Oh, I remember this feeling, Oh I don't like this feeling, I don't miss this feeling..." 

5:30am: About this time, the contractions were so painful, I was telling John that we need to leave right now!!! So we got in the car and started the 30 minute drive to the Soldotna hospital. The entire way I had contraction after contraction. We tracked them, they were 1-2 minutes apart lasting 40-60 seconds. I knew that meant that at this point I was in active labor. I kept saying, " we got to get there, and I want my epidural!!! Make sure I get my epidural!"

6:00am: I didn't register yet, because I didn't expect to go into labor at 39 weeks. I was planning on registering that week. So I went into the hospital while John went to go park the car, I went to the desk and no one was there for the first few minutes. By the time she gets there, I'm going through a big contraction. Then we rush the paperwork, John gets there and we all walk to the OB ward down the hall. By the time I get to their desk I'm having another contraction. I'm trying to tell them that I'm the women who called earlier about my water breaking... I could sense the urgency to get me into a room and changed, in the nurses behavior. I begin to change and have another huge contraction! They get me into the bed and check me, I'm dilated to 6cm. While I go through several more contractions, I keep asking for my epidural, and they keep telling me that the anesthesiologist has been paged and should be up shortly.

Meanwhile, they were putting our wrist bands on, since we rushed that part at checking in, and nurses are trying to find any vein that they can stick an I.V in. They tried 4 times, and couldn't get a good vein! Then they called in an expert to find a good vein. I was confused, thinking it was my epidural walking into the door, not a vein finder person, so I kept saying, "thank goodness you are here!" All the while I'm seriously in a lot of pain. John was holding Jaxon, trying to keep him calm, so he wasn't able to be holding my hand or be super supportive while I was in pain. I then felt sick, like I needed to throw up. The nurses rushed a very convenient blue bag to my side. It got used, and while it was getting used, Jaxon was laughing at the sound of me vomiting!

A few more minutes pass by and I have this really big sensation that I needed to push. I was saying, "I-I- I think I need to PUSH!!!!" So the nurses and my OB were scurrying around trying to get me into the position to push, and then I realized in that moment, that my epidural wasn't going to be coming, and I was going to have to give birth naturally!! 

They told the nurse that was going to be looking for a good vein, that she would need to wait, because this baby is coming.

Pushing:

I guess the best words to describe my unexpected natural delivery is, bringing out the inner Xena Warrior within me. I have never heard myself scream like that before!!! It was the most incredible, and painful sensation I have EVER experienced!! It was both horrible and amazing all at the same time!! I felt this overwhelming sensation to push Push PUSH, and I wanted to, because I wanted him out of me, bad!! When my OB told me to stop pushing (the cord was wrapped around his neck) It took everything in my power to stop pushing, because it was as if my body had taken over. Then when I was clear to push again on my next contraction, I pushed that baby out in one big push!

6:58am: Jacob was born! She threw that baby right up on me! Which I didn't expect, because, if we had time to think of bringing a birth plan, it would have said to wipe him down first! I know that there are many mother's that wouldn't have it any other way then to catch their own babies, but I'm not one of them. I don't personally like to feel a wet, bloody, mucous baby all over my arms. So I was a little put off by it, trying to act as if I wasn't... He didn't stay in my arms very long though, because he wasn't crying or breathing the way he should, so they took him over to the baby station to supply some oxygen, and get him to be more alert than he was acting. While they were working on him, I worked on delivering the after birth. The contractions were gone, completely, so I didn't have any sensation to push, but with a little effort, it was delivered. When I finally get the wrapped up baby Jacob back in my arms, it was like I came out of "the zone" I was in to give birth. I looked at Jaxon, realizing, he was there the entire time, and wondering if he will be traumatized for life seeing me scream like a crazy women and push out his brother!! He didn't seem effected by it, he was interested in everything that was happening, but I think he is young enough, he won't remember this experience.

Overall, the experience was so invigorating!! I just felt amazing! No drugs to induce, no drugs to block pain, and it went so quickly!! There is no doubt that God was involved with my labor and delivery. I had been praying for a good experience giving birth. I was so nervous that I would have such a depressingly horrible experience again, and I didn't think I was going to be able to handle that. I was so worried about it, and my sister was praying for me because she knew how upset I was. My dad and husband gave me a blessing. And then, I have this birth. This quick, amazing birth. I couldn't stop smiling all day. I was so chipper and giddy with happiness. Honestly, if my deliveries go this quick in the future... I could probably do it without the epidural.... I will always request the epidural anyway, but, it's nice knowing that I can do it without one. :)

* Fun Side Story: We were asked to give talks at church that Sunday. I wrote my talk and I was very happy with it. John was struggling like crazy with his talk, he had writer's block. So I went to sleep that night completely content, and John set his alarm for 5 am to work on his talk. He had a silent hope/prayer that I would give birth so he wouldn't have to give his talk. lol... It's funny, that at 4:30 am my water breaks, a half hour before he tries to attempt writing his talk again! So, instead of me being able to deliver my talk, I ended up delivering my baby instead. 

Nursing:

As opposed to the nightmare of nursing with Jaxon.... my nursing experience with Jacob was so much better. Jacob gained the right amount of weight, and was a good nursing baby, He was so good at sleeping 4-5 hours through the night before waking up to eat. After a while, he wanted to nurse all the time though. If he heard my voice, he wanted to nurse. So after about 10 weeks, I started him on formula to supplement. Now, I just nurse once in the morning, once in the afternoon, and through the night. It works better for my sanity. But he is so chunky and healthy, and I love not worrying about his weight, and knowing he growing right on track. 

I'm not as stressed this round. I have been able to mentally cope much better. I think I had a bit of postpartum depression... not having the excitement of socializing, and hosting get togethers, like I used to, but again, in comparison, this round is better!!

I do a lot of comparisons with experiences, I hope that my negativity about Jaxon's story doesn't make me appear that I resent him!... I don't, and I don't plan on making him a "whooping child" or anything! Hahaha, I just am so glad this round went more smoothly than the first. It makes the idea of having a bigger family more attainable, than it would be if my experience was the same as before.

I love my little family, I'm so happy to have two happy, healthy boys, what a blessing....

If you look closely at our 1st family picture above, you will see that both Jacob and Jaxon are looking at each other. It is so sweet. I have a high hopes and a prayer that they will be close all throughout their lives.

I think they are getting off to a pretty good start.

Well... We Had a Baby!

I know, I'm so good at blogging all the time! Once every couple years is good right?

So to update, we are still living in Juneau and we had a baby boy named Jaxon David McDonald! :) He was born on September 6, 2013 at 2:33am. 7.5lbs and 22 inches long! Long and lean.

I don't know where to begin; pregnancy story, delivery, the first several weeks of hell, the first couple of months of adjusting to mother-hood, or the current life of being a mom? Lol.... That's the problem of only doing an update once in a blue moon...

I guess I can just give a summary the pregnancy, labor and first few moments, and then update the rest in another post.

How I found out I was pregnant: I found out in January 2013, I was a little late, and moody. And John said to me, "Man, I wouldn't be surprised if you were pregnant, you are so emotional!" Well, that sparked my interest into taking a pregnancy test. I thought I would wait until the morning, since that is the best time to check, but then I thought, hey why not? I will check this evening and tomorrow morning. (I kept pregnancy tests in stock in my home) And to my very shock and surprise, I saw 2 lines show up! I gasped, and read the instructions to be sure that's what it meant, even though there were plenty of times I would check and only see one line. So deep down I knew this was different. I couldn't really contain the excitement or nerves enough to think of some clever way to tell John. I just ran out and showed John the evidence. He was pretty dang shocked and excited, and yes, he teared up a bit. Even though he won't admit it. Neither one of us are good at keeping secrets, or containing excitement, so we called his parent and mine and Christina to tell them the good news.

 

Pregnancy: Overall, the pregnancy was so easy!! I hardly had any morning sickness. Yes, I was more emotional, and yes, I was queezy every now and then when I was hungry. And when I was hungry, John learned very quickly, it was time for food... NOW! I craved garlic bread and nachos. Oh yeah, and every morning when I brushed my teeth, I had to be very careful not to gag myself, because for some reason, I was super sensitive to gagging and making myself sick while brushing during the entire pregnancy.

I was so set on having a girl. I thought through the entire pregnancy before finding out the gender, I was going to have a girl. I envisioned a girl, it felt like a girl.... So when it came time to find out the gender, I was very surprised and a little disappointed that we were going to be having a boy. I went back into work, shocked, and I even cried!! I made a bet with my brother-in-law, Heber, I was having a girl. He thought I was going to have a boy, and so whoever won, owed the other, a steak dinner when we went to Utah to visit. Looked like I owed him a steak dinner. It took a while to get used to the idea of boy, and to turn my imagination from ribbons and bows, to Carharts and trucks.

I ended up having Gestational Diabetes. I was so horrified and scared and sad, and angry! But as I learned more about it, and how to manage it, I sucked it up and made it through. Luckily, there were other women around me that went through the same thing who helped me, and gave me recipes, tips, and support. The most annoying part about it was checking my sugar levels every 2 hours. It consumed me. There was no more enjoying those nachos or garlic bread... While, I could still eat them, it wasn't fun any more, since I was so worried about keeping my sugar levels where they needed to be. But in the end, it really was a blessing in disguise. It helped me make wiser food choices. I became more active, by going on longer walks everyday. I didn't gain anymore than the 30lbs I was supposed to gain. I did end up needing insulin to maintain better levels, but it wasn't because I was cheating. I can honestly say, I was perfect at eating the right amount of carbs on most days. So I blame the hormones, and I blame the blasted heat! Juneau isn't known for it's high temperatures, but of course, this summer was the exception! I was miserable!! Lol.

I worked the entire way through the pregnancy. I was determined to work all the way through. I didn't want to quit early, when I could work and pay off my car before the baby came. We had decided I would quit and be a "stay-at-home mom" but I wasn't going to start until the baby was actually here. I feel like the Lord blessed me with a good pregnancy for me to be able to do that. It was a righteous desire to be out of debt.

We made one more trip to Utah before the baby came too. It was like a "Last Hurrah" or Vacation being kid-less. We had a really good time, despite the heat. We went to Yuba lake with Christina, Ellie and Heber. We stalked up on baby supplies at the Babies 'R Us, and we went and saw Mo and Julia and kids in Pocatello, Idaho too. We even got to catch up with our friend's, the Allreds, in Seattle, during a 4 hour layover.

As far as feeling the baby kick, I felt them, but seriously, every time I tried to get John to feel them, they would stop! John maybe felt the baby kick a handful of times, if that!! It drove me crazy, because I wanted John to be able to get excited and to see his amusement in the pregnancy, but that didn't happen. It didn't become real to him, until the baby was actually out.

We went through a list of names, it came down to Jacob, Jacobus (John's favorite, pronounced Yocobus, I wasn't a fan) Jaxon, David, Todd, Torres Ramsey, Douglas, and Ronald. ;) Okay, we aren't that mean, we teased about naming him Ronald McDonald, but we wouldn't really do it. It was narrowed down to Jaxon. We found it online, and it stood out to me above all the rest. But the next question was, would it be the first name or middle name. John really liked David Jaxon, and we would call him Jaxon. But I was never a fan of naming my kid a name we wouldn't primarily use. We chose David because it's my grandpa's name and John's dad's name. So we talked and kind of bickered a bit about whether is would be Jaxon David or David Jaxon. And didn't make a decision until after he was born.

Nearing the End: So, my doctor. was taking precautions with me, because of the gestational diabetes. He wanted to go by the book and the medical practice's policies. He thought that we should induce at 39 weeks, to avoid having a 10lbs baby come out of me. We did an ultrasound, and while the results didn't show him being that much bigger than he was supposed to be, out of precaution, he still felt we should induce.... I wasn't happy about it, because I wasn't ready mentally or physically for that. I always imagined that my water would break, and I would naturally go into labor when the time was right. Rushing to the hospital, with all the excitement of the unknown. Inducing would take that portion of the excitement away. But being my first baby, and really not knowing I had any other option, I consented. We were going to start the inducing process on Tuesday, September 3, 2014. The day after Labor day. We did all we could, to "naturally" start labor all week-end long, and on labor day. Lots of walking, stairs, bouncing, and yes, even castor oil. The castor oil gave me mild contractions, but they went away.

So here is the series of events:

9/1/2013-Sunday Afternoon:  Castor Oil, mild contractions through the night. Then stopped.

9/2/2013-Monday: No contractions, spent the day enjoying the sunshine. Walking around Eagle Beach, just trying to take in the last few moments of my life without children, and enjoy the last page of this chapter in my life.

9/3/2013-Tuesday: Went to hospital, induced with Cytotec, lots of walking around the hospital. Dilated to 1cm. Very little progression. Spent the night in hopes that it would pick up. It didn’t.:

We packed our bags with the  i-pod, Lord of the Rings, chapstick, hair things, and of course, my “Special K bars” that I have been craving all pregnancy but couldn’t eat because it would throw my sugar levels for a loop. So I had John make them so I could finally savor each bite after I had my baby. We had additional snacks for John. And toothbrush, toothpaste, and changes of clothes for both of us. And of course, we didn’t forget  our birth plan.

Tuesday morning came. We got into the hospital, they checked my sugar levels, they got us breakfast, (I was so excited, because I thought I wouldn’t be allowed to eat!) They stuck an IV in my arm. The doctor came and checked my cervix. I was barely dilated, but my cervix was soft. Then they started me on Cytotec, a mild drug to get my cervix dilating. I had mild cramps, but nothing horrible. I wasn’t having very good contractions so, they suggested that I start walking around the hospital wings, to see if that helps move things along. We walked a lot. All day, we walked the stairs hoping that I would progress. They checked me, and I only dilated to a 1-1.5…. So the evening came, and we decided to go to sleep. I didn’t progress at all. The on-call Dr. said I needed to start Pitocin in the morning. 

9/4/2013-Wednesday: Started Pitocin, hard, painful contractions. Very small progress. Only Dilated to a 2! Got sent home to sleep off drugs, and come back in the morning to start again.

8:00 a.m. rolled around and they started the pitocin. I could feel the affects within minutes. This day was an extremely emotional day for me and John as well. The contraction hurt, and were intense!! Every hour or so they would check how dilated I was, I would get so frustrated because I wouldn't progress!! Towards the end, I wasn't sure how many more contractions I could take, I was so sore!! I kept having high hopes that I was nearing the end, and it would be time to push, so imagine my disappointment to find out I had only dilated to a flipping 2cm all freaking day long?!!! Then they came in to discharge me, since I just wasn't progressing quickly enough, and they felt I should go home, and take a bath, get a good night's sleep and come back in the morning for another round of Pitocin. I was so angry that I was going home without my baby. All of my expectations went down the drain, and I started to get angry at the fact that I was being induced, when my body wasn't ready to give birth. How bad would it have really been to wait an extra week, to my due date to give birth, or induce then? My body would have probably been a little more receptive, I think. 

John and I went home, I worked through the rest of the drug induced contractions in the bath tub for an hour or so. Then we went to bed, and laid awake talking about this week, our hopes, fears, disappointments, and what we want to do going forward with faith. We prayed together, and cried together. And made the decision that I was NOT going to go back tomorrow morning. My body wasn't ready, and I didn't feel like going through the same pain again to only dilate to a 3.... We decided that we would tell our Dr. the plan, and make sure that we would be okay, and it wasn't a huge emergency to get him out.

9/5/2013-Thursday: Didn’t go back in, I was done! Started natural contractions 10 minutes apart through the morning. Then 8 minutes, then 5, then 2, then 1-2 minutes apart. Went back to hospital.

We called the hospital to tell them we weren't coming back, and asked if that was okay. They seemed surprised, but then told me to call our doctor at his office. It was 5am, so he wasn't going to be in until 8am. So by the time we got a hold of him, he already knew, because he swung by the hospital to check on me before heading to the office, only to find out I wasn't there! lol. He told us, that it wasn't an emergency, and all he can do is give us recommendations, but in the end it was up to us. So we kept with our decision.

My parent's were in town, because they knew I was going to be induced and expected me to give birth on Tuesday! My sister had to be induced with Dodge, and that's how it worked for her. (This is another thing; I felt a lot of pressure to have this baby, from my doctor. and from the fact that my parents were in town, for only a week and few days, and John started his leave, and only had a week off, and I still didn't have this baby, and it was Thursday. I hated the pressure to give birth, when he wasn't ready to come... I'm SO doing things differently the next time around. Ugghhh) Anyway, they were in town, so we all went out to breakfast, and while we were getting ready to head to breakfast, the contractions started coming back. They were about 10 minutes apart and continued all through breakfast.

We went on a few errands, bought some more baby clothes, but I was starting to feel tired, still being sore from all the hard contractions the night before, so we went home. I headed straight for the bath again. The contractions continued still in the bath. I got out, so they wouldn't slow down. And we started to play Phase 10.... That's when the contractions got worse, and closer together.

They started happening frequently to the point that John started timing them them while we played. They were about 5-8 minutes apart. It got to a point, that every time it came around to being my turn again, I needed to take a break and work through a contraction. My mom kept saying we should go back to the hospital, and I shot her down over and over again. I teased that I was NOT going back to the hospital unless my water broke and there was a head sticking out of me. I kept explaining, that I had these severe contractions yesterday, and only dilated to 2cm. So I didn't want to show up at the hospital only to find out I'm at 3cm! We kept playing, but then the contractions came so often, and for longer periods of time, that we decided to take a break from playing and research where I'm at in the laboring process. We looked at a handout I was given in my birthing class that talked about early and active labor. As my mom tracked my contractions, she pointed out that I was in active labor now, which goes quicker than early labor. She tried to convince me it was time to go back. I told her no again through a long contraction, and then about 1 minute passed, and I was having another long contraction. I then realized, that she was probably right, it might be time to go back....

So we hustled, as best we could (there was no walking through contractions at this point.) John was taking a survey over the phone standing on the porch, I shot him a look, and might have been a little snappy in my tone with him, that he needed to come be actively involved now, so he got off the phone quickly, and we all headed to the hospital.

We get there, I would say, it was about... 5:00pm, and John goes to check us in while I went straight to the maternity ward. They get me in the room, check my cervix, and I'm dilated to a 9! Just kidding, a 6.... But hey, they said it was going to go quicker this time, and that going home would be a bad idea. :) 

Epidural: Yes please! I waited for the anesthesiologist, and was very impatient. He finally comes, tells me to try to hold still as he puts the needle in my back.... Yeah, that was soooooo hard to do while working through contractions at the same time. And then I was surprised because, it didn't kick in right away. I kept feeling pain, and I was hoping that I would stop feeling pain any moment. Then I finally stopped feeling pain... on the right side of my body, but on the left, I was completely aware of the contractions. So I was told to lay on my side to let the drugs work their way to that side of the body. It's quite amazing actually, how drugs work.

I was quite happy and content once the drugs kicked in. I would turn to look at the monitor, and say, "Hey look, I'm having a contraction".... It was so lovely.

It didn't seem very long after I had my epidural and I was relaxing that my mom started to cry. She said, "Your contractions stopped, I have been watching the monitor and you haven't been having any for a while." Then the nurse came in to check to see if the monitor got moved around on my belly since they didn't see any contractions either. They called our doctor in, and he told us, that sometimes contractions fade away a bit and then come back. We can either wait, or we can start Pitocin again to see if we could get it going again. We chose to just wait. Even though, I couldn't feel the contractions, I just wasn't in the mood to jump on drugs again, when I have come this far on my own. So we waited.

The nurse came in to put a catheter in me, and said she would check me while she was down there. When she did, she gave the happy news that I was fully dilated! Yay! So we just needed to wait for the contractions to come back and I could start pushing. Our doctor said that when the contractions came back and the baby started moving down the birth canal, it would be time to turn off the epidural so I could feel the urge to push and feel the pushes when it got closer to time. I was so not excited about the idea of that.

The contractions came back. And can I just say, I love my nurse?! She said that we could do "practice pushes" with the epidural, so that when it was time to "really push", Jaxon would at least be close to the opening, and I would know what kind of pushes they are looking for. She was awesome, she was helping me have this baby with my epidural, and I love her for that!! It was a little tricky trying to push without feeling my legs, but it wasn't that hard, I still felt pressure, so I made each push count. Someone had told me that when you push, you want it to feel like you are using the muscle to push out a bowl movement. So that's what I did, and luckily, I didn't actually poop! I was told that was also a common thing to do, so yay me! Sorry, that might be too much information, but hey, it was all part of the birthing experience. ;)

I felt the urge to vomit, which, I told was also normal, they had a nice blue bag for me, and it got used. After I vomited I felt much better, and like it was time to push again. This time, I was told not to push, because they needed to get the doctor. He came in, thinking we still had time, but then saw the hair of my baby's head, and was surprised, because he wasn't aware that we were in there doing, "Practice pushes." Muahhahaa, all with the epidural still on!


9/6/2013- Friday: September 6, 2013, Jaxon was born at 2:33am.

After he was out of me, they wiped him down, as I requested in my birth plan, and asked if I was satisfied, or wanted him to be cleaned up more, but at that point, I just wanted him in my arms! So I said, "No, give him to me!!" The nurse and doctor laughed, as if they knew that would happen. John was reaching for the camera, (this photo is cropped, yeah, he wasn't too good at helping me appear to be modest here, granted, he had plenty of other things on his mind.) This is the first few minutes of Jaxon's life in my arms. 

I was so overwhelmed with so many emotions, relief, shock, happiness, love, fear of what's next, surprised of how tiny he was, and pure joy. 

They delivered the placenta, started the clean up process. Took Jaxon to weigh him. I was thinking it, but decided to bite my tongue, as to not ruin the moment, but I was slightly furious, that he wasn't at the very least, 8.5lbs. Just because of the traumatizing rushed birth experience I had this whole week, all because of the concern of his weight. When we could have waited one more week, and still wouldn't have had a weight issue. But what was done, was done. And he was here. And most importantly he was alert and healthy.

Everything after that seems to be a haze, I was on some adrenalin rush, I'm sure, so when it was all done, I was so exhausted and as much as I loved this little baby, I wanted to set him in his sleeping bin so I could fall asleep. But felt guilty for not wanting to hold him longer and stare at him longer, so I held him longer, until, I just couldn't any more and gave him to John. Then John was so exhausted that he went out to the nurses station to see what he could do with the baby. lOl, it's funny, now thinking about it, we both just had no idea what we were doing!

Well, I think I will leave the story there for now, and pick up the remaining story of nursing woes, and learning to become a mom for another post.

Time Flies

OK, So I am not good at blogging. But I think I'm going to get better at it now that I learned a few things from a really good blogger. Clair Harper is her name! Thanks. She is working in Alaska for the summer with the tourist industry and renting a room from us, so I get to learn as much as I can from her while she is here. :) So expect to see some setting changes and more pictures, and music on my blog in a few days... or weeks!

What to say, where to start... I'm just going to keep it simple actually. I moved into my new home. It's gorgeous, we love it. There were quite a few startling eye openers as to cost of oil bills and repairs though. Which we are slowly getting sorted out, but that's for another post at an earlier time of night.

We got a dog, named Dixie Lee. She is a hound and beagle mix. Stubbern animal! I love her, she is my puppy, and for right now, my baby, but sometimes... she is just John's dog. Actually, a lot of the time, she is just John's dog! lol. I will post pics of her later. There are so many stories of her, I might need to start a personal tab for her!

John is still loving his career as a court service officer. And I'm still working at my job I mentioned in earlier posts as a recpetionist at an accounting firm. It's going well. I got a $2.00 raise within a year of working there! I still can't believe it!

Life is busier than ever, I'm not sure what is making it that way, but it seems as though we are always on the run doing something. Whether running to Home Depot, Costco, or Fred Meyer for  house supplies and groceries, or going to play co-ed softball on Thurday night (Just ended the season though). Or just cleaning or repairng our house in all the different ways. I'm ready to start managing my time a little more though, so I can feel more well-rounded, and like I accomplish more when I'm not at work.

Still no kids, nor am I quite at the level to want kids. I thought I was, then I thought I wasn't, and I am still so dang wishy washy on the subject, that I just don't think its time for us yet. I think John and I are going to get more serious about it in December though. We will pray about it and see where we are at. It's so tough knowing when the right time is to start a family, and its so tough, when you don't feel any grand urge or excitement about it either. I know I need to be a mom, and that's my role, and it will be exciting and good... but I'm just not feeling it... I'll be 25 in February though, so the clock is going to start ticking in a while. Really though, is there ever really a good time to have kids? I have to keep reminding myself that, no matter when I decide to have kids there will always be issues... transmission goes out,  car accident, life disasters... so that shouldn't be one of my excuses as to not have kids... Maybe I'm being selfish. I don't know. But for right now... I have no immediate plans to have a baby. If you don't like that, ask me on a different day what I think, and I will most likely have a different opinion on the subject. :oP

Well those are some quick updates and thoughts for the evening.... Have a good night!

In Everything, Give Thanks.

Oh my, it has been a while. Since my last post, yes, I finally got a job!! So now, I'm asking myself the opposite of my last post... when do I get free time?! Haha, it reminds me of the country song singing, "Just as soon as I get what I want, I get Unsatisfied..." -Martina McBride (I think) Really though, the job is great and I'm so glad I have it.

I started thinking lately about this past year, and I really started to notice all the blessings that my husband and I have been blessed with. So below are some of the blessings that I have noticed in my life, that I've been putting mental "ribbons and bows" on as gifts to us this year so far...

During our move here, I wasn't sure if it was the right decision, putting our faith in the Lord we took the step to go. And I have been blessed so much to come to know that this was the right step, and we got here safely without a car breaking down or a trailor hitch breaking off! And the Lord even sent people in our path to feed us dinner and breakfast while in Haines waiting for the fairy to take us to Juneau. We found a place to live with an awesome view, and not only that but it placed us in the awesome ward that we love and that we needed.

Health, the Lord has blessed me with remission from Crohn's attacks all year! I have been steroid free for 7 months now! I can't even tell you in words how EXTREMELY Blessed and Grateful I am for this, last year was such a horrible rough trial with my health, that I've come to really recognize and truly appreciate being healthy and being able to have the energy to go on walks in the evenings with John, to have the energy to come home and cook dinner, to clean, to socialize, to do something more than just crawl into bed and wish the pain would go away...  I am so blessed for this, more than you will ever know.

Friends, we have slowly been making friends. One couple in particular took us under their wings when we moved here and extended a hand of friendship when we knew no one. The Lord knew we needed that, and He put people in our paths that we would become friends with, and for that I'm grateful.

The Gospel, our Family ward and our calling. I get to teach four-year-old sunbeams with John. It is the most rewarding calling... EVER! Seriously, I love this calling. I was freaking out at first, and I was going home and taking naps... actually I still nap after church, hehe, there are eight of these little cuties, which makes it trying but rewarding. Nothing is more sweet then having a parent come up to tell us that their kids said something that went right along with what we taught them the week before! They really are listening, and even though the lessons are so simple, they even take me back to the basics of the gospel that I love and am so blessed to have in my life. These little ones keep me on my toes and teach me so much through their little testimonies, and I'm so grateful to teach them too.

I was blessed to get a job. Money was getting really tight, with us moving here and racking up a ton of credit card debt, I was really worried about being able to pay it off without me having a job. Although I had to struggle with this trial for quite a while, I came to understand how important it is to rely on the Lord in everything, and it taught me that, in everything, I must give thanks for the things we do have. We continued with faith, we paid a full tithing and we served in our callings faithfully. After learning that valuable lesson of relying completely on our Heavenly Father and having faith in Him, He blessed us yet again with a good paying job for me. We are now 100% Credit Card Debt Free!! It is the most amazing feeling, and I know it's all because of the Lord blessing us, with the right time and right job for me to be happy.

We have been blessed with an opportunity to buy a house, that not only fits our needs, but also our wants. It's a house with an attached apartment. So when I'm no longer working, we will have the subsidized income from rent, so we can afford to live in a house when I'm being a stay-at-home-mom. We were blessed with John's 401-K from his previous job to help pay for a down payment and any closing fee's we would have to pay... With this, I have realized how blessed we truly are, because not many families that really want and need to be living in a house have this opportunity to have extra money to be able to afford a house. They don't have savings or a 401-K to help them in this, and they are going to have to save for years before they can ever afford the upfront fees associated with buying a house. And although our decisions to do this may be right for us, I've come to realize that they may not be right for other people, and I'm so blessed to recognize that the Lord has His hand in my life, guiding us to what is the right path for us... He truly does watch over us, and when the time is right, there is a way for it to happen.

These are just to name a few of the blessings that I have been noticing. But as I look even closer I have come to notice that in every aspect, even my trials, I have been so blessed. So as this Thanksgiving season approaches, I am ready to give thanks, because I have been so blessed in everything.

Today's "Life Adventure"

So I am sitting here in my living room, trying to figure out what the heck to do with myself. It's pouring rain outside, and I am just not in the mood to be all cold and wet right now. It's Wednesday, no job call back, I have applied to several other job positions and no bites. Oh I wish I had a job. I want to feel needed again, I want to feel successful, I want to have money :), but most of all, I just want to have something to do!! For the first month of moving here and having time to get setteled and being able to cook all these awesome meals for my husband, it was way fun and nice to have a break from work. I am now going on my 3rd month of being jobless, we have both gotten fat with all those delicious meals, and I am starting to get stir crazy!! What does one do with all of this time?? Someone with no money, no kids, no pets, and no friends in town? I guess the scrapbooking is coming out! That will just have to occupy my time for now. At least yesterday and the day before I got to help a women out by taking her kids for a while so she could finish moving into her new home, and I went to try to help clean her house the next day. Service truly is a wonderful instrament to get your mind out of self pitty, but now what? I have served, the job is over and here I am again wondering, What next?! As I am typing, John calls me from work and says he is going to swing by home for some lunch today! Yay!! It will be the highlight of my afternoon, having someone to talk to. hahaha, ok I'm just being rediculous, Things will get better, my days will be more interesting I'm sure. So until then... on to the scrapbooking.

Our first year's journey together...

So to the newest news in our life, we are living in Juneau Alaska, and so far so good. But I will have to say that our journey to end up in Juneau was quite the crazy experience. And our life of growing together during the first year was a growing experience indeed.

When we first got married we moved into some apartments in Fairview, in downtown Anchorage. My parents owned them and they lovingly let us live there with a little cheaper rent then what other apartments would have us pay. At first, I was a little reluctant because I wanted to show that I was responsible and not having to rely on a "hand out" from my parents, so we vowed to only live there a few months. It turned out being a huge blessing! A few weeks into our marriage I started having stomach problems. I would have constant diarrhea, I thought it was a number of things, I thought it was because I started birth control pills, so I immediately stopped using them, the symptoms slowed down for a week, and then picked up again. So finally, I went to the Dr. and I was referred to the same Gastroenterologist that my dad saw for Colitis. He performed a bunch of tests. I was diagnosed to have Giardia! Another common name for it is "Beaver Fever" Don't ask me how I got it, I promise that I wasn't drinking from any streams in the middle of winter!! So I had to go through treatment to destroy all the bacteria in my bowels to destroy the bad bacteria. I was so so sick. I was vomiting constantly, and having continuous diarrhea, I was so ill. I laid in bed for 10 days. Then started to feel better. We tested again, and the Giardia was gone!! I thought my problems were over. The Dr. told me that I would start feeling better in about 3weeks to 3 months after the good bacteria started to develop in my bowels again. So I still had bowel issues but thought they would come to an end after I recovered. I finally was able to work, searched for jobs and started working at a very busy eye surgeons office. I didn't see my problems go away after 3 weeks, so I decided to wait it out, because he did say up to three months... 2 1/2 months go by, its August, and my energy levels deteriorated. All I wanted to do was come home from work and sleep, because that was all the energy that I had. Finally, I had a huge break down and just couldn't take the stomach pain and constant trips to the bathroom anymore. So I finally called my Dr. He told me that we needed to do a colonoscopy asap. He scheduled me for the following week. When it was done, I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease. A sister disease of Colitis. Its an auto-immune disease, that attacks the small intestine. Basically, my immune system doesn't think it needs my small intestine anymore and wants to destroy it! So it was very inflamed and what ever I ate, wasn't getting processed, so I got very little nutrients for a very long time. My Dr. said he thinks it could have been activated by having so much stress come to my body to fight the Giardia, and it put my immune system into high gear, and it just never went out of the attack. He started me on medication, it didn't work, he upped my medication and put me on steroids. They worked, in the sense that they gave me energy. I still had weird bowel problems but they were more manageable then before. I continued to lose a ton of weight, which if there was any upside, it was the fact that I was fitting loosely in size 10 jeans and feeling so sexy... but it really was bad because I got there not in a healthy way.

This was really difficult on John, he didn't know what to do for me and we hardly went anywhere for very long because I got tired really fast. He was such a great love and support to me, and took really good care of me, I think during our first year of marriage, we learned what it meant to take care of each other, in sickness and in health!!

During all of this, John realized that he wants more from a job then what his current job had to offer so he started looking at further training opportunities for life careers. He found a job under the state troopers and decided he would apply and see what happens. John went through an extremely long process to get a job as a Court Service Officer with the State of Alaska. He started applying for this position back in July of 2009. He didn't hear anything from them until September! They then did a thorough background check, physical tests, psychological testing and interviewing. Then we didn't hear anything for 3 months!! As you can imagine the entire thing made both John and me very anxious. Not knowing if we would get the job or when! We had originally applied for a position in Homer. They told us that if we didn't get that location they were also hiring for Bethel and Nome... I was really turned off to both of those places and hoped that we got Homer, if I had to choose any of those places. In December right around Christmas Time, he finally got the call. I was at work, we were super busy with patients coming in and out, and I see my cell phone ringing, it was John. Obviously, I couldn't answer. Then he calls on the back line. I put him on hold and then finally got around to talking to him. He tells me that he got the job, but they want to place us in Juneau! I had never even thought about Juneau, because the option was not given to us at the beginning! I didn't know what to say or think. I told him that we would talk about it tonight, then he told me that he needed to give them the answer in a half hour!! So we decided that we would go. It was on a whim, and we relied completely on faith that all would work out and it did.

 He then went to training in Sitka Alaska. He was only gone for a full week, but that was the longest time we had been apart in a long time, and right during the Christmas events! He made it home 2 days before Christmas thank goodness, I was so looking forward to sharing our first Christmas together as a married couple. Then he continued doing training in and out of Juneau. We moved out of our apartment in the month of February and lived with my parents. Until we moved made the move to Juneau in April. He was gone the month of February during my birthday and our Anniversary in Juneau for training at his post. I went down during Valentines Day to see him, and scope out places to live in Juneau. He came home and we started to prepare to leave. We sold John's big bad black truck, to only have one car payment and to get out of some debt. We were so blessed the entire way to Juneau. We were blessed with being able to sell his Diesel truck so quickly, a day before we left, we were blessed with safety the entire trip, people that extended fellowship in Haines, and fed us twice, and everything seemed to just fall into place so easily. I had wandered for quite a while if I was making the right choice to move here, and that prayer was answered so strongly as we took action and moved forward with our decision. My health has improved so much, I have been able to taper off all medication and not have a flare up for a month now. I've gained back all of my weight :( hahaha, it really is a good thing though, I just need to lose it the right way now. If my health continues the way it has been, for three months, then we can work on starting a family :) Time will tell, but as of right now, our future is looking bright and we are excited to see what life will hold.

So that sums up our first year, a long road filled with relying on faith and hope, learning how to battle life's challenges together, and to grow in many ways! And so the journey continues...